All The Stories - weblog

2497

Bispo claimed to have been entrusted by seven blue angels and Christ himself with the momentous task of inventorying everything worth redeeming on the impending Day of Judgment.

2496

There is the story of the patient in a lie-detector who was asked if he was Napoleon. He replied, 'No'. The lie-detector recorded that he was lying.

2495- Asen

Everything works out but nothing lasts. Nothing works out but it keeps on going.

2494

The last two men on earth vie for the affections of the same woman.

2493

Mother kills twin so other may live.

2492

Mars is running out of air, and the King orders the Lobster Man to go to earth and steal earth's air supply for the inhabitants of Mars. Lobster Man at first refuses to go, but when told that he will be able to eat whatever, or whoever he wants he agrees to take the trip. Meanwhile on Earth, a young couple are driving along a deserted road completely unaware of the fate that awaits them.

2491

A leading Egyptian scholar demands that people caught importing a female virginity-faking device into the country face the death penalty. The scholar says supplying the item is akin to spreading vice in society, a crime punishable by death in Islamic Sharia law. The device is said to release liquid imitating blood, allowing a female to feign virginity on her wedding night.

2490- Daniil Kharms

There lived a redheaded man who had no eyes or ears. He didn't have hair either, so he was called a redhead arbitrarily. He couldn't talk because he had no mouth. He had no nose either. He didn't even have arms or legs. He had no stomach, he had no back, he had no spine, and he had no innards at all. He didn't have anything. So we don't even know who we're talking about. It's better that we don't talk about him any more.

2489

If zombies actually existed, an attack by them would lead to the collapse of civilisation unless dealt with quickly and aggressively.

2488

As a child he loved to sing.

2487

The traditional throwing of a bride's bouquet for luck ended in disaster. The bride and groom had hired a small plane to fly past and throw the bouquet to a line of women guests. However, the flowers were sucked into the plane's engine causing it to catch fire and explode.

2486

An Arab family takes a genie to court, alleging theft and harassment. The lawsuit filed in Shariah court accuses the genie of leaving them threatening voicemails, stealing their cell phones and hurling rocks at them when they leave their house at night.

2485

Cannibalism, mountains, snow, villages.

2484

Fighting with his wife, drunk, Paul Verlaine once threw their three-month-old son against a wall.

2483

When Rembrandt�s possessions were sold at bankruptcy in 1656, they included paintings by Raphael, Giorgione, and van Eyck. And seventy-five Rembrants. And did not bring in enough to discharge the bankruptcy.